December 24, 2010
Hallo: This is Peter Plastic, your friend. I would like to wish all members of the toy soldier community, whether collector or painter, whether wargamer or hobbyist, whether dabbler or connoisseur a very happy holiday season. Tis indeed the season to be merry. Forget your worries, your waistline, forgive - let's have some cheer :-)
For the new year, may your wishes all come true, may good health and fortune be yours, may 2011 be a year of joy for you and your family.
The following is my gift to you. In your march to become the owner of the largest private plastic army in the world, I offer the following tried and true tips.
1) Do not rely on the overweight old man with the white beard to squeeze down your chimney and increase your collection. He only comes once a year.
2) Do not be afraid to ask for toy soldiers for your gifts, a man has a right to his hobby (see #3).
3) Cultivate the persona of an eccentric person. I am told that this is much to be admired in the country called England. Once you have this persona, your march to own the largest private plastic army in the world will only be admired.
4) Reach the critical point in your collection. The critical point is when you have so many boxes of toy soldiers that any new boxes will simply blend in with the rest.
5) Annex a room or space in your home. Out of sight, out of mind. Once this room or space is in your sole possession, additions to your collection will no longer be under close scrutiny.
6) Have your toy soldiers shipped to work addresses, post offices boxes or mail boxes.
7) Start bringing large briefcases to work. At first, open your briefcase in full view of members of your household to reveal work items. New additions may then be brought in without suspicion.
8) Interest other members of your household in toy soldiers...... then annex their collection.
9) Make only new friends whose hobbies are also toy soldiers. Join a support group.
10) Discover the attic, your new friend.
That's it for me. Now go and be with your friends, lovers and families. Salute! Merry Christmas! P.P.
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